you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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