I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
