Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
