i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
