Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
