And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
