Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
