covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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