I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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