It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
