you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
