His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
