she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
