my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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