operation have a gay friend backfired
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
