Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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