just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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