i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
