My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
