spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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