Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
