if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
are you so shy because you have an std?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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