you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
