Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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