Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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