im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
