we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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