My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she told me i tasted like america
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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