well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
