And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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