thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
