So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
