So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
