i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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