did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
