yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love you. Go after that dick
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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