i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
