I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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