This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
