Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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