You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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