Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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