just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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