the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
