Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
