Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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