I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
