The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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