I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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