Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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